Why I Don't Have Children

Every day at least once, I think about the fact that I have no children. It is painful.  There is a crazy long list of reasons that I have not become a parent.  Most of my reasons for staying childless, have nothing to do with me, and everything to do with the climate of our world.  I am a worrier, I worry about my dogs when I’m not home, I worry about John while he’s on the road, I worry about my friends all the time.  I can barely enjoy a vacation because I worry about something happening at home while I’m gone.   These are all fairly normal things to worry about, and if that’s all there was I would probably be a Mother by now.  I am totally confident in my ability to parent, and I have total faith in my partner to be exceptional.  So why?  Why not do that thing that people do when they are committed and in love, why not create new life? 

Our world is in crisis.  Our country is in crisis. The human race is in crisis.  I know, I know I’m such a negative Nancy, and I shouldn’t let the world dictate what I do with my life.  In my personal opinion I find all of that “logic” to be total bullshit.  I am responsible for the life I provide for my theoretical children, even if I didn’t create the problems of the world, I am responsible for protecting said children from them, and I can’t, nobody can.  People are taking babies from their homes, and selling them to the highest bidder, they are using our stolen children in sex trafficking rings.  Our country is run by people who LIE and take advantage of our collective ignorance.  We are collectively ignorant.  There is a race war that is reaching its boiling point, that I don’t care to force my would be bi-racial children into.  Our water is dirty where we have it, our air is dirty, our food is contaminated.  Quality education is only available to those who are fortunate enough to be able t buy it. 

Beyond all of the practical and technical reasons, there is the issue of our world being overpopulated with shitty people.  People are fucking mean.  People are ruthless, they are selfish, they don’t care about what is happening to their neighbor.  Kids are killing themselves over being bullied to the point that they lose all hope.  People are having kids because they feel like it, not because they are equipped to do so.  Schools are getting shot up, and children are being massacred.  School shootings are a political platform, not a human issue that our politicians are using their power to help solve.  Everything, all of the time, is all about the votes.  We aren’t people anymore, we are number sand we are collateral damage. 

I can’t speak for everyone, and I don’t want to. These are just the thoughts that race through my mind when I think about creating a new person for the world to devour.  Hell, if you can do it and mold a functional, well rounded person than kudos to you.  This just isn’t a world that I want for any child, so I won’t make a new ones.